Mind Your Ps and Qs . . .

Has Emily Post revised her tome to include cell phone do's and don'ts?

I did a quick search on cell phone etiquette and found rules about using them in restaurants, churches, theatres, cars. Nothing, however, about using them in bathrooms.

My friend M is a skilled multitasker. She's on the phone while running, shopping, even peeing (when at home) - but only with good friends. Today she confessed to peeing and talking public restrooms, but only with her sisters. At present she draws the line in blood for public urination by phone.

As a fellow urinator in public bathrooms, it weirds me out. I've never thought of peeing & talking in public, but hey, that's just me. And, I have no sisters - so I must poll my friends.

There have been a few times, when I'm in public, that I've heard one sided conversations while in the loo. Today took it to a new level. Rather than being anonymous (in a restaurant, shopping mall, airport), it was at work. A coworker walked in, conducting a one sided conversation on her cell, entered a stall and continued talking. It was odd, I had anticipated that she would warn the listener that she was going into the bathroom, and maybe she did. I just didn't hear it. Also hope to hell she was on with her sister, and not her client.

Also of note is the fact that our toilets are automated, so the sensors respond to subtle movements. A toilet will automatically flush if you simply blink. It's like never ending surf sounds, right here in the landlocked 'burbs - any subtle move and it flushes. Not including those unfortunate sounds that are sometimes emitted and overheard by other stall-mates ... Simply said, it's a bad place to converse for a multitude of reasons.

So today, this woman continued her conversation in the midst of the spontaneous flushing. I just don't get it. If I was on the receiving end of that conversation I'd have to interrupt: Is the toilet broken? Can you call me back when you're out of the john? Are you trying to drown out my voice? Course I don't always say what I'm thinking (a point which M reminded me of this afternoon), which is true. She's charged with picking up on my non-verbals and calling me on it.

We have a 'No Firearms Allowed' at the entrance to my office. Do we need a 'No Cell Phone Usage' sign on the bathroom door?

Last but not least, why tempt fate? Why bring items into the stall that are not needed? I remember a colleague's nightmare story. She stayed late at work. Made a pit stop on the way to her car. As she was flinging her coat around her again and flushing, her keys flew in and flushed away. Kid you not. Guess that could be called a swirly of an accidental kind?