My coworker MM submitted one of her bridesmaid dresses to a contest - and placed in the top five of the most hideous outfits. Needless to say, her friend (the bride) wasn't pleased as it was posted in the local newspaper. Their friendship died with the contest entry ...
Having worn eight different bridesmaid dresses in a little more than a decade I have my share of anecdotes. No runaway bride tales or award-winning hideous gowns - but rather a tale of the temperamental hairstylist and another of the droopy mother of the bride ...
Les, the diva hairstylist, was booked to do up-dos for a handful of bridesmaids and a bride. The wedding was in Denver, where the groom grew up, and the hairstylist was the mother-in-law's referral. Picture this: purple walls, black & white photos of old Hollywood celebrities, Broadway music blaring so you couldn't hear yourself think, and neighboring shops with bars on their windows. Insert Les, who managed to suck at up-do's, insult a few bridesmaids, and spent more time out back smoking cigarettes than sporking hair with bobby pins. It was a disaster. We aborted Les. Well, everyone left except me (who was presently stuck in the chair, Les trying to convince me that a French braid would be better than a French twist) and the bride's mom and youngest sister who were waiting for me to extricate myself from the chair.
The nearest mall's salon came to the rescue. Afterwards S the bride sent them a huge basket for salvaging our hairdos. Then, as we careened to the ceremony itself, the car's "check engine" light flickered on. Luckily, the biggest fiasco was Les - who is now simply fodder. The wedding was wonderful. S, R and I danced to our favorite college tunes (I distinctly remember Erasure, among others) and had a great long wedding weekend in Denver.
Halfway through my bridesmaid career, I realized the importance of alcohol, pre-wedding. For H's wedding, I brought champagne to drink while we got ready. It was the perfect pre-party. During the wedding I remember seeing H's mom drinking a can of soda in the pew. Rather odd, but ok. Afterwards, before the reception, was classic. The bride's family was posing, the photographer would give his verbal cue. Everyone smiled, except H's mom. She would be staring, deadpan, expressionless - until after the flash went off. Then she'd smile. Total delayed reaction.
Turns out H's mom, who is a nurse, took a few too many anti-anxiety pills, on an empty stomach, and mixed with alcohol. Pretty horrible, yet comical. I don't recall seeing the wedding album, but I can't imagine that there are any photos in which she's actually smiling. I have to say as an observer, it was funny even then - I'm surprised she was able to stand up, much less not drool.
Ahh, lessons on what to avoid, or try to avoid, on your big day. I'm sure I have more - but these two stand out in the annals of weddings 101.
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