New Vocabulary

I didn't want her to keep it. When I heard she was feeding it, I knew it was all over.

She, Rav, was my new BF (best friend). We both had visions of our single parent marrying the other's parent. At 16 I wanted Rav and Rav's mom to offset the imbalance in my world. If I was getting a replacement part, I was putting in my order for the two of them to fill the void, please. No substitutes allowed.

It's funny to think back to high school and life as a teenager. Within months of meeting her, years ago in high school, Rav became pregnant. She decided to carry to term, but planned to give her baby up for adoption.

Then she called me from the hospital, talking about something called an "epidural" and saying that it was the best thing. That if/when I had kids, I had to ask for one of those. I had no idea what she was talking about, but made a mental note. Still haven't forgotten, even if it is a big-ass needle.

I remember telling my dad that my new best friend was the "p word." He was fairly stoic. Later, after he'd soaked in the enormity of the situation, he strolled down the hallway, stood in my bedroom's threshold, and stiffly mumbled something about doctors, pills, etc. Definitely vague - no direct mention of sex, pregnancy, gynecologist - just a mention of Rav's name along with his parental offer.

At 15, Rav's life changed. Before she had her driver's license she had a baby. She dropped out of high school and became a single, teenage mom. She got her GED, driver's license, a part time job. We remained close - though saw less of each other when I went away to college, for obvious reasons. But she's very much like the sister I never had. She's younger than me, but bossy and forgets that I'm a year older. So I still haven’t had an epidural, big deal? I'm older, dammit!

She's married now, with four monkeys. Her firstborn, Allie, is now 17 years old. I’ve known her since she was in the womb. I can't imagine life without her - I'm sure Rav can't either. At 16 I thought Rav was making a big mistake, her teenage life ending abruptly. Boy was I wrong. What Rav did - keeping her child - took courage, sacrifice, love and so much more. At such a young, vulnerable age I can't imagine facing such a situation and making such difficult, life altering decisions.

So glad Rav didn't teach me about episiotomies, tucks and those mesh-like post-delivery underwear. I learned about those in our 20s when she was married and having baby #2. Thank heavens.