Ode to Poons

It's funny how everyone has their own personal thesaurus of nonsensical nicknames for everyday things.

Of course, there are the terribly common and rather horrid references to private parts, oft used by parents to their kids. These terms are heard, loud and clear, in many a public place. 'Woo woo', 'hoo ha' and 'keester' echo throughout the food aisle at Dierbergs or public restroom at Target, making the non-believer in such tomfoolery cringe.

I like to believe that people graduate from these juvenile repetitions (don't forget 'bo bo'), though many never do. Fortunately my mom started early with the training of the proper references. Granted, I occasionally forgot these terms, but mainly because the birds & bees talk flew over my head and caused me great anguish. For a long time I wouldn't eat eggs for fear of getting pregnant. As a young kid, I knew that I was not yet ready to graduate from caring for my poodle (in a rather haphazard way) to taking on a baby. The egg making a baby visual just left me reeling and my new vocabulary was momentarily lost.

Now, what I think much more interesting are the quietly kept monikers of adults. Those not uttered outside an elite group, hush-hush, and purely goofy. Rarely do these see the light of day to reach outsiders.

For instance, R&J, who are trying to conceive, call their future fetus "Peanut." This slipped out in a conversation so now I'm in on their little joke.

Another friend, while chatting on the phone today, mentioned that she was buying a case of poons online. Her favorite type was no longer available in stores so she was going to stockpile.

Now what is a 'poon'? Is it something found in a Dr. Seuss book? Or insider slang for harpoon?

Well, in addition to being a southern Asian tree (which I just learned), it is slang for a tampon in M's family. Something oh-so-very-original that her father coined, living in a household with four menstrual women.

In my own world, I have seemed to refer to bras as 'arbs' for 25 years. But only to myself - using this when making shopping lists, but never in conversation. Writing this out, I wonder why I did this ... I think because, in those awkward pre-teen years, poons and arbs seemed less embarrassing when referred to in code.