Halfway to Seventy

I know it was only a three day workweek, but thank heavens it's over.

The past month or so my output at work seems to consist of clock watching, and snuffing out the urges to either pull a book out of my purse to read or work on my next short story. It's not like I don't have work to do, it's just that Idon'twannadoit.

On Wednesday, July 5th, after a very relaxing four day weekend, I was even tempted to just call in and take the day off. I didn't have any plans, no particular project or event - just simply didn't want to return to the drudgery. Like four days was not enough. Seems like it should be...but who knows.

On top of that I've noticed a new tendency that is very ADD. I sit at my desk, and like someone who is nicotine addicted, I feel the urge to check my favorite blogs and personal email account all of the time. What I can't figure out is if it's a phase (doldrums at work) or a new quirk in my personality?

I know it's possible to develop food allergies or find that your flat, limp hair suddenly has a kink. I've known other women in their 30s that have experienced such things. Now that I'm a day away from turning 35, am I just restless or have I developed ADHD? I hope not.

ADHD reminds me of my boss Jim. I was 22 at the time, very intense about proving myself and doing a good job. I was in his office, talking about something important, when he suddenly sprouted up out of his chair, flipped his chair over, and began spinning the bottom half to increase the chair height. That image has resonated with me for 13 years. I was dumbfounded at the time, mouth gaping, frozen mid-thought at the sight of the clown twirling his chair.

My other early twenties image of this boss includes his young son. Jim abandoned his son in his office while he had a meeting. Over time everyone could hear his son's growing bellow of "Dad ... Dad ... DAAAAAD!!" Poor little guy was scared. He's probably a landscaper or actor after that stultifying time in Dilbertville. No cubicles or padded walls for him.

Anyway, Jim rescued his son and brought him down the hall to meet his direct reports. At my cube they stopped. I took in the appearance of my boss with an extra appendange, a young boy with dried snot looped around his left leg. As he introduced me, his son - almost in slow motion, like the famous Chariots of Fire scene - pulls his head away from his dad's leg, one shoulder and arm distancing itself ever so slightly from its host leg. Before I know it (or Jim knows it), his son is going in for the kill. Jim's been racked - hard, at close range - by his seven year old son, in front of his 22-year old employee.

The slo-mo continues, as Jim cups his hands, slowly bending forward with an 'o' shaped mouth. Before he's bent 45 degrees, he regains composure, while I'm still shocked and hurting for him.

The first words out of his mouth are even toned, not unlike saying "I'm going to lunch, I'll be back in a half hour." But instead he says: "Don't do that (insert kid's name here - I forget it), that hurts Daddy."

And that's it. End of story. Yet it's etched in my brain - one of my first impressions of corporate America!

I honestly don't think Jim (or his wife) ever reprimanded the little imp - whereas I felt it completely warranted that he pull the punching urchin by the ear and grunt idle threats until they were somewhere private for a full on reprimand. It didn't have to be corporal, but some sort of cause and effect was in order. Granted I'm not a childcare professional nor a mother, and Jim probably should not have left his kid alone at work, HOWEVER the kid's response was inappropriate and unspeakably embarrassing - to Jim and to me!

From the office buzz my boss's kids were both on the untrained, disobedient hellion side of the spectrum. I wonder where they are now ... and if V's right about karma, perhaps someday they'll get racked in public in front of non-strangers too. . .